my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
