I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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