If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
