I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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