She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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