Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
