well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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