Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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