It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
