I got chris browned last night
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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