omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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