Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
