Already got asked if we're dating
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
