He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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