I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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