and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im part way to drunk.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize