please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
