One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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