Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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