Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
