playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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