i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
