ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
