He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
where am i from again
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
