It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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