Duck Duck Cougar?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Sober January is a disaster.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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