Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
