Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
