Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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