I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize