what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
