Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
