The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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