I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
