At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize