dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
