Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize