He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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