I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
