So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
