my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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