he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
