dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
