is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
