You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i think my mom watched the whole time
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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