Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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