Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
