New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
