So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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