well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Still dying that you shit outside
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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