Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize