I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
