i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
