using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
