your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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