If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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