I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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